The TSA Isn’t Actually Very Good at Stopping Terrorism – The Jim Jefferies Show

The TSA Isn’t Actually Very Good at Stopping Terrorism – The Jim Jefferies Show


Now that printable guns
are reality, it’s even more likely
that anyone could have a weapon on them at any time. That’s why airport security
is more important than ever. Woman: TSA is considering
allowing thousands of passengers to board commercial airplanes
across the United States without being screened. Well [bleep] me. Yes, the TSA
might eliminate screenings at more than 150 of the
country’s smaller airports. And sorry for the people
who live in fly-over states, but according
to the U.S. government, your lives
are literally worth less. Woman: An elimination
of security screening at small and
some medium-sized airports that operate commercial planes
with 60 seats or fewer. Their operating theory is
attacks with small aircraft would not be as attractive
a payoff to terrorists because the potential
for loss of life would be less than what terrorists could
achieve with larger planes. Terrorism isn’t a numbers game. Killing 60 people in a plane
hijacking is pretty respectable. They can’t all be 9/11. Which I believe
is an inspirational poster on the wall
of ISIS headquarters. [ Laughter ] Ah, you hang in there, Ahmed! You hang in there! Come here. I’ll let you in
on a little secret, though. The TSA doesn’t really do
a whole lot of anything. The new report by
the DHS Inspector General found continued problems
with TSA screening procedures. The exact findings
remain classified, but sources say, in tests,
possibly over 70% of the time, explosives and weapons were able
to get through checkpoints. Just two years ago, testing found
a 95% failure rate. 95% failure rate. If they suck that bad,
then, by all means, get rid of the TSA.
No one will mind. See, life is a constant tradeoff
between safety and irritation. We could prevent
every car accident if everyone drove
at 10 miles an hour. But we don’t, because
we have shit to do, right? [ Laughter ] When a terror attack happens, I always think,
“Oh, my God, that is awful. That’s gonna hold up
the security line. God.” [ Laughter ] What’s next? They’re gonna make us
take our shirt off? Now I have to be early
and do sit-ups. [ Laughter ] And people are gonna see
my Cosby tattoo! [ Laughter ] In all fairness,
I got it a long time ago — last year, when I thought
he was gonna get off. [ Laughter ] The TSA
is the most obvious example of what we call
security theater. We go through the motions
with metal detectors, removing shoes,
and tiny bottles of shampoo and the Quaaludes, right? [ Laughter ] But none of that shit
makes us safer. It just makes us feel safer. It seems important
on the surface, but it’s really worthless, like Purell dispensers
or monogamy. [ Laughter ] And it’s not just airports. We fake comfort security theater at concerts, theme parks,
sporting events. Like, a guy shining
a pen light into your bag may make you feel better,
but there’s no way it’s helping. Check out this security guard at a Premier League
soccer match. [ Laughter ] That guy’s like me
during foreplay! [ Laughter and applause ] “All right, that should do it. Let’s head on in.” [ Laughter ] Going through the security line
makes us feel better because we’re really bad
at calculating what is a real risk
and what isn’t. Respond to the feeling of
security and not the reality. People underestimate risks
in situations they do control and overestimate them in
situations they don’t control. So once you take up
skydiving or smoking, you downplay the risks. If a risk is thrust upon you —
terrorism is a good example — you’ll overplay it
because you don’t feel like it’s in your control. Terrorism sounds scary because
it’s beyond our control. But the truth is,
we’re more likely to die choking or drowning in the bath
than a terror attack. For [bleep] sake, 29 people
a year die being buried alive. And that’s the bad kind
of buried alive, not the good kind
where you pass out drunk and you wake up with
a mermaid tail and great tits. [ Laughter ] I have no friends. Some
local kids did that to me. [ Laughter ] TSA employees
are kind of like mall Santas. I know they aren’t
really doing anything. They’re typically
just fat guys in uniform that have to deal
with the bratty public, and they have to answer the
same questions over and over. Also, I once had a mall Santa
order me to remove my clothes so he could give me a pat-down. [ Laughter ] Look, it was
a different time back then. 2014. [ Laughter ] But my son believes
mall Santas are real. And most people believe that the
TSA is actually doing something. And I think sometimes it’s good
to at least feel secure. But instead of worrying
about terrorism, we should be worried
about the other shit that is more likely to kill us, like lightning
or parachute accidents. That’s why our studio security
doesn’t even screen for guns. We do have a strict, uh… no lightning, no parachutes,
no shovels, no bathtubs, no fatty foods,
no sharp objects, no fireworks, no bees, no tight clothing,
no peanuts, no bad luck, no drop bears,
no sudden illness, no zombies, and just no pianos. I’ve always thought
it was an overrated instrument that takes up
too much of the room. [ Laughter ] So here at
“The Jim Jefferies Show,” we’re serious about your safety.

100 thoughts on “The TSA Isn’t Actually Very Good at Stopping Terrorism – The Jim Jefferies Show

  1. You seemed to have shoved the Avi yemini scandal under the rug, must be the contacts you have in media now you sold out, you fucking hypocrite

  2. Hey, now. The TSA in NYC did a thorough job inspecting my one-year-old while simultaneously terrifying my three-year-old by shouting at him when he tried to come near me. The lesson? Apparently you are supposed to somehow remove an occupied Babybjörn and get it on the conveyor without having anywhere to put the baby.

  3. What the hell do printable guns have to do with TSA disfunction? It’s already illegal to bring any gun through the airport.

  4. The full evolution of all life is death!! Some reason this is something the majority of human beings have an extremely hard time accepting.

  5. America diddnt want to
    "keep calm and carry on" after
    9/11 attacks
    unlike the British after the Blitzkrieg
    Britian DEMORALIZED the germans by not giving much a shit
    and we are letting the iziz Demoralize us

  6. What surprises me is that they'll take a nail file off you in a security check, but you can buy another one in the pharmacy afterwards… like really..
    Also there are a number of items that you can purchase in the stores that can be used to make improvised weapons or molotovs. The whole thing is a scam IMHO. Literally no point in it whatsever

  7. It would be funny if a bunch of planes where taken and used against Republican leaders across the states or used as a sworn and targeted the house that contains an orange of 10,000 lies.

  8. So you can not get scanned at a small airport that connects to a large airport on an international flight without any screening? Seems legit

  9. Well. Color me shocked. I just searched out of curiosity, cannot believe this arse is still on the air. I mean I can. Money and influence and all that. Guess I thought being caught on tape lying, baiting, and otherwise describing to all who care to see that you are a grifter of the highest degree might have damaged Mr. Jeffries reputation. Hmm

    Addendum. Apparently this is a rerun. Now I genuinely am curious. hiding out and drip feeding recycled content to keep the channel alive. Bold strategy. My sincerest Hope's that you remain secluded and fade to obscurity.

  10. Seriously I don't know what's more sickening and equally heart wrenching the fatal oxymoron of Killing for Religion and Killing in the name of GOD or the Mental Diarrhea and Fear Mongering created by the false notion of security and structure by overcompensating creating these demons of Elaborate hyper- Paradox false terrorism senarios

  11. The TSA should be shut down, they only exist to make travel out of the country that much more difficult.

    Its only a matter of time before this countries borders are closed to US citizens

  12. Came through TSA screen but forgot to remove my belt. TSA guy said''He FORGOT to remove his belt!'',
    so they made me put my hands up and gave me a dose of radiation, then fondled my bits…geesh!

  13. Jim you rasist MF fuck you, you know when I knew you was rasist for the first time I saw you on stage many years ago. And than that guy exposed you for good. I said to myself fk I was right.

  14. A few years ago I took a flight to N. Carolina. I went through apart screening emptied my pockets, took off my shoes and belt, dumped everything into a couple of bins. After I got to my destination, while going through my wallet, I realized that I had one of those folding credit card knives in it. It went through security, no problem. It was a bit metal in a sea other metal (keys, belt, cell phone, watch, money). By the way, I didn't push my luck. I threw it out before the return trip.

  15. The 100ml per bottle is just insane. So if someone wanted to take in 400ml or liquids they have to do split between four 100ml bottles … soooo stupid

  16. jesus people, you do realize there was a time when TSA didn't exist, and everyone did just fine –
    TSA has a +95% FAILURE rate at screening – any civilian business with that rate would be bankrupt in week 1.

  17. Last time I went to the airport the TSA stole my art pain (all less than 3 oz.) telling me I couldn't carry more than 4 bottles?
    so now I carry a bag full of assorted dildo's covered in Crisco (true story) and I beg them for an anal probe if I'm pulled aside.
    make those bastards earn their pay!

  18. I arrived in New York of all places only to go through my backpack and find I left a 50rd box of 22lr in my backpack…which was a carry on…they took my round file though. (for those of you wondering, I do a lot of gunsmithing) I’m glad nothing happened but also very let down that nothing happened.

  19. Never once in my life have I thought TSA was helping anything other than their own gains and ends. Never once thought they were actually helping either. Not once in my whole life.

  20. I went through 3 different xray scanners with a knife and no idea it was there before I left I checked it three times they all physically checked it and then one determined guy managed to find it

  21. Cant take this guy serious after Avi Yemini exposed him for being racist and editing different answers to other questions. Pity was kinda a funny guy too

  22. Jim Jefferies, you are THE coolest Australian ever!!! 😂
    BTW, I had a buck knife with a 6" blade in a backpack that I gone hiking with, and had forgotten to remove said knife before boarding a plane for Chicago… I almost fainted when I saw it after landing!!! I am a brown person….😮 This was like six months after September 11th.

  23. It makes sense. I live in a small town, and the TSA guards recognize us, and know us by name, and they still have to screen us. It is dumb. I 100% back this.

  24. So. The TSA. How best to describe this… Ok. Go outside, pick some random person off the street. Give them the old game "Operation", tell them to practice for an hour pulling out the plastic bones, then, shove them into the operating room at a hospital and let them do surgery.

    That is the TSA. They have zero real experience and only basics of training in their job. They stop little to nothing when it comes to real terrorists. The x-ray scanning techs are worse. They can barely identify a normal item, much less an intricate explosive device disguised in other item.

    When I flew back from Iraq in 2007, I went through Kuwait International Airport. They had TWO security checkpoints. I had two 9mm magazines in my bags. They identified the magazines, at both checkpoints, just from x-ray scan. From the time I entered the airport to when I got to the gate took 45 minutes total. That was buying the ticket, going through two checkpoints, and checking in at the gate.

    When I flew into the States, I gave Customs my DoD travel orders that stated I had been doing ordnance disposal work in Iraq. The chemical sniffer hit on my laptop. They put me into the chemical sniffer chamber and it went off like a damn casino slot machine when you hit the jackpot. They searched every bag, every item, me, and did everything BUT a strip search.

    Our security is a joke.

  25. Saying that having an Airport Security agency (even a half assed one with miserable stats) doesn't deter/reduce attempted terror attacks on airlines is like saying closing and locking your front door doesn't work just because no one tried jiggling the handle.

    Go ahead, leave your front door open when you leave for a while, and let us know if you're still confident that your shit will still be there after a few weeks.
    They don't need to catch terrorists red handed every week in the headlines to have an effect.

  26. 9/11 is an Israeli Zionist conspiracy , and now they are planning a similar act and they will point all evidence against Iran . I don't like Iran and what it stands for but I hate that Americans are paying their lives , just because Israel wants so . Are we really what Netanyahu said publicly that America is Israel's bitch .

  27. As a person who has worked closely with the TSA for years I can back up the claim that it is a laughable joke. A facade of security. Slow to adapt. Inept. Out-of-date. Very poorly funded. DHS gets all the money they want. It's laughable. Sad that our country puts up with this but we didn't have a choice when this bullshit start anyway they force it upon us in the middle of the night. Patriot Act my ass

  28. i dont know about you guys but when i need to hide a bomb i always use my shoes…..makes me feel important

  29. Everytime me and my homies take a flight we play a game called look what I got threw the TSA most epic thing we got a full sized loaded gun threw TSA security round trip and we head 3 one litter Ozark bottles filles with Vodka two sprites for chasers and a whole paint of promethazine with codean TSA is worthless

  30. It’s cuz TSA “agents” are some of the laziest fucking people on the planet. All they do is scream loud as hell while rushing everyone through the checkpoint as fast as possible. It’s a joke.

  31. I'll sass security that doesn't check my bag properly. Like if youre getting paid to keep my safe AND wasting my time I'ma hold you to it

  32. Mr Jim, this is the second video of late I've seen you post from what it looks like newly made shows or telecasts but I dont see any new episodes on the comedy channel yet. I have comcast/infinity and they have a feature where you can set up a series recording which has worked just fine in the past for you awesome, insightful and most of all funny as hell show. Maybe are you just airing some brief clips of your new season 4 on the tube here prior to them dropping on my cable provider. Anyway, hope that's all it is… looking forward to your next season… 👍

  33. Jim Jefferies, when are you going to comment on how you tried to ruin a man's life by misrepresenting him as a racist on your TV show?

  34. Seems gun owners are a tad sensitive about their toys. I gotcha, my nephew is like that with his baba. Doesn't let anyone take away his precious baba. Even cries when someone even mentions baba, so I kinda get it. Ya'll really like your baba.

  35. Love 'em or hate 'em, TSA isn't entirely worthless. They do actually stop madmen from getting on planes with weapons.

  36. Okay if your travel once you just moaning for the sake of it, if you travel alot its not really an issue. 20 mins, whatever, it's just part of travel. It gives the impression of security but would you rather nothing? You know you should turn up early, why complain? Honestly give me a reason why you would rather people had no inspection?

  37. TSA, huh? All of you people are worried about getting blown up in the air or having the plane you're on flown into a building, huh? But then you put a dumbass like Trump in the White House; an idiot who can drown the whole country in chaos and put back any societal advances America has made BACK 150 YEARS!!

  38. That's their rationale when ISIS just bombed a wedding killing 63??

    TSA= what, Think Strategically Agency? And were putting the horrendous percentage of explosives getting by the officers charged with keeping us safe?

    You mother fuckers are going to let it happen again.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *