– ♪ Oh, your blackbird sound in the dead of night ♪ (man singing indistinctly) Fuck, he sucks. (laughter) You know, uh– Speaking of… – Dude, you can’t do that to me ’cause I’m sick, so it was either snot or coffee. ♪♪ – This is “Bonfire.” – Yeah. – And– and we got the
She would hit me up on Instagram to come out after the show. She was with five girlfriends. I just show up, and they all have tattoos, and they’re talking about the bartender’s micro-penis. I was like, “Yeah, that sucks for him, like this little dick guy.” You know what I mean. Girls, if you
The movie Hustlers had a $33 million opening weekend, and J.Lo celebrated like any celebrity would, with back-to-back parties for herself in Miami, and a five-tier cake that cost four grand. She’s like, “Oh, my God, I’m so surprised. “It looks just like it did in the two-hour meeting we had about it.” (laughter) It
I have S&M written under my right tit, and it doesn’t mean what you think it means. Hey, I’m Hanna Dickinson. My tattoo fail is that I got a matching tattoo on a first Tinder date. Sorry, Mom. I have three tattoos on my body. Each represent a separate breakdown I’ve had since moving to
– We’ll do some 9/11 jokes, and then we’ll get the fuck out of here. How’s that sound? [laughs] It’s hard to transition into anything. I don’t have–I don’t know if you’ve noticed anything about my comedy, but there’s– there’s not many transitions. It’s very, like, “Dick, fuck, Dad.” Like, it’s, like, very straightforward, easy-listening
Right now we’re gonna do something we haven’t done or a little different. We’re gonna try to take questions from the audience, -’cause we already ran out of stuff to talk about. -Ooh. -(laughter) -So… young lady, uh, just, uh, just say your name and your question. Hi. My name’s Colleen. My question’s for Maya.