Post Malone Nursery Rhyme Raps

One Pac, Tupac,
buckle your shoe Pac. Let’s talk about that.( music playing )Good mythical morning! Guess what, everybody?
We got Post Malone here! – Welcome, Post!
– What’s going on? – Whoo!
– ( applause ) What’s going on, guys?
You all right? Welcome to the show, man. Hey, thanks
for having me, man. I’m a big fan. – Likewise.
– Yeah, yeah. – Really?
– Yeah. I’ve been watching for…
four years. – Oh, wow.
– That’s crazy! That’s a pretty…
I mean… give or take. – Okay, but who’s counting?
– Give or take four years or so. Yeah, give or take. All right, here’s what’s
happening on this episode, later we’re gonna create
some Post Malone memes with the man himself. Plus, we’ll be stuffing
a Slim Jim inside of a churro. But first, who the heck
is Georgie Porgie and why is he eating
both pudding and pie? And how does one acquire
a tisket or a tasket? What I’m saying
is nursery rhymes
are old, outdated, and they make
no freakin’ sense! Mm-hmm. So today, the three
of us are gonna update some stuffy old nursery rhymes
by turning them into rap tracks. It’s time for… –( lamb bleats )
– All right, here’s how
this is going to work, we got a board over here
that Chase is manning. We have several different
nursery rhymes and then several
different rap styles. Mm-hmm. I see Migos,
I see Snoop Dogg, I see– who’s Post Malone? Post Malone:
You got him. Rhett:
I see Kanye West, I see
the Sugar Hill Gang, and I see
a-Beastie Boys. So we pick a nursery rhyme,
we pick a rap style and then
we make it happen. Mm-hmm. And then we’re gonna
head over to the crib and perform our rhymes. – Got him. Let’s rock.
– Individually. All right, Rhett, you’re taller
so you are going first. Oh, thanks. That’s always helpful. Pick your…
pick your nursery rhyme, man. Rhett:
I’ve always been a fan
of “I’m a Little Teapot” because it’s ironic when a big
man sings “I’m a Little Teapot.” – That’s nice.
– Okay. Link:
And then what style
are you gonna perform this in? Rhett:
I think I gotta go with
the D-oh-double-G, man. Snoop Dogg,
I think I can do that. – He’s a tall guy.
– I think I can handle that. Post:
Look at the swagger. Link:
Yeah. Post:
Immaculate. Hit it. ( music playing ) I’m just a tea pot,
tizzle full of t-zizzle, y’all. ♪ I’m a little tea pot,
short and stout ♪ ♪ Here is my handle,
here is my spout ♪ ♪ When I get all steamed up,
hear me shout ♪ ♪ Just tip me over
and pour me out ♪ ♪ La da da da da ♪ ♪ I’m a mother freakin’
tea pot full of tea ♪ ♪ La da da da da ♪ ♪ Gonna pour
some tea out of me ♪ – Post: Wow, incredible.
– ( Link laughs ) Incredible. Oh. – That’s… that’s
pretty good, man.
– Very good. – Dang.
– I’m going on
tour later this year… – Can I come?
– …you wanna open? Yeah! Link:
Okay, I’m gonna choose
“Hickory Dickory Dock.” – Rhett: Mm-hmm.
– ‘Cause why not? – Nice.
– Right, does it really matter? And I’m gonna perform it in the style of… Yeezy. Ooh. Just count the hours! All right, I’m ready! ( music playing ) ♪ Uh, uh ♪ ♪ Hickory dickory dock ♪ ♪ The mouse ran up the clock ♪ ♪ The clock struck one ♪ ♪ And down he come ♪ ♪ Hickory dickory dock ♪ ♪ The mouse ran up the clock ♪ ♪ The clock struck two ♪ ♪ And look what he do ♪ ♪ Hickory dickory dock ♪ I’ma let you finish, but Beyoncé had one of
the greatest clocks of all time! ( applause ) – Wow.
– You just about got your baby. – Wow, that was…
– Hit the baby. Thunk! very intense. I think Kanye
would be proud. – I think it was nice.
– Yeah, yeah. You know, sometimes
he goes after it. – Well, all the time.
– So I had to bring it. Who’s your producer? Mark. He’s talented. He’s sitting
right over there. Talented guy. Tracks are pretty great. – Yes.
– Yeah, the tracks are great. – All right, you’re up.
– Your turn. – Post: Um…
– Link: What song
you gonna pick? ( Post sighs ) Post:
“Itsy Bitsy Spider”
has always been a song that’s been
very close to my heart. – Yeah.
– ( laughter ) – You like spiders?
– Yeah, I hate spiders. – Small ones?
– But the reason why– Yeah, exactly,
that’s why I picked it, because they’re
small spiders. – Right.
– Got it, right, uh-huh. Post:
I’ll do it in the style of
the classic Sugar Hill Gang. – Okay.
– We’ll go old school on ’em. – Taking it way back.
– Yeah, let’s rock. – All right.
– I’m ready to rock. Do it. – Okay, yeah, get…
– Get hydrated. – …get hydrated.
– It’s important. Gotta hydrate. Hello, baby. ( music playing ) Ooh. ♪ I said a-hip-hop ♪ ♪ The itsy,
the bitsy spider ♪ ♪ Went down
the water spit-spout ♪ ♪ A down-a came all the rain ♪ ♪ And a-washing the spider ♪ ♪ The washing, wishing,
washing away, ooh ♪ ♪ The itsy bitsy spider
went up the water spout ♪ ♪ Down came the rain
and washed the spider out ♪ ♪ Up came the sun
and dried up all the rain ♪ ♪ And the itsy bitsy spider
went up the spout again ♪ ♪ Hey, ho ♪ – ♪ Hey! Ho! ♪
– ♪ Hey, ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh, hey ♪ ♪ Ho, ooh ♪ That’s it. – ( Rhett laughs )
– ( applause, cheering ) Ah! Wow. Everything old
is new again. Wow, bringing back
that old-school flow. It’s a tough flow to master. Yes. That was great! – Oh, nice, nice.
– Okay. Now you have to
go again! Yes, I do. Oh, man, what am I gonna do
to follow that up? Ugh. Rhett:
Let’s go… “Mary Had
a Little Lamb.” – Did she?
– Yeah, she did. Always been fond of that. And… I don’t know
how I feel about this. I’m going out on a limb,
something that struck me. – I’m gonna do it
in Post Malone style.
– Post: That’s nice. – Hey, that’s pretty…
– You gonna be offended? – No, no.
– Are you sure you don’t wanna let him
do his own style… – Is that an option?
– …later? I don’t wanna
let you do it. So, okay. – All right, go for it.
– It’s the easiest style. It’s not like
he’s not right here. No pressure. Oh, gosh. All right, hit it. ( music playing ) Okay. ♪ Mary had a little lamb ♪ ♪ Its fleece
was white as snow ♪ ♪ And everywhere
that Mary went ♪ ♪ The lamb was sure to go ♪ ♪ Followed her
to school one day ♪ ♪ Which was against
the rules ♪ ♪ Made the children
laugh and play ♪ ♪ To see a lamb in school ♪ ♪ So the teacher
turned it out ♪ ♪ But it still lingered near ♪ ♪ Waited patiently about ♪ ♪ Till Mary did appear ♪ ♪ Why does the lamb
love Mary so? ♪ ♪ The eager children cried ♪ ♪ Why, Mary loves the lamb,
you know ♪ ♪ The teacher did reply ♪ Yo, that lamb was saucin’. ( Post laughing ) ( applause ) That’s great, man. – Hey…
– That’s pretty good.
That’s pretty good. Not that these are
being judged, but… I’m upset
that I didn’t write it. – Whoo!
– Oh, my gosh. Hey, kudos to you, man. – Yeah, it was very good.
– Yeah, man. – He was right there!
– Yeah, that was– – I’m sweating.
– Okay. My pits are sweating. Whatever I don’t pick, – you have to do.
– Okay. So, uh… is there, I mean, you wanna
whisper something in my ear? Or what you…? – ( laughter )
– Okay. Okay. ( whispers )
You like farm animals? I get it. Okay, I’ma choose
“Hush, Little Baby.” Um… Beastie Boys! – Ooh.
– Hey, that’s nice. Ironic ’cause the Beastie Boys
are kinda loud. ( laughter ) ( yelling indistinctly ) Post:
It sounds authentic. ( music playing ) ♪ Hush, little baby ♪ ♪ Don’t say a word ♪ ♪ Mama’s gonna buy you
a mockingbird ♪ ♪ And if that mockingbird
don’t sing ♪ ♪ Mama’s gonna buy you
a diamond ring ♪ ♪ Is that what you want? ♪ ♪ What you, what you,
what you want? ♪ ♪ Is that what you want? ♪ ♪ What you, what you,
what you want? ♪ ♪ If that diamond ring
turns brass ♪ ♪ Mama’s gonna buy you
a looking glass ♪ ♪ And if that looking glass
gets broke ♪ ♪ Mama’s gonna buy you
a billy goat ♪ ♪ If that cart
and bull turn over ♪ ♪ Mama’s gonna buy you
a dog named Rover ♪ – Post: Wow. Wow.
– Rhett: Wow. Wow. Are you okay? ( gruff )
I think my voice
has changed now. – I love how you took on…
– That was pretty incredible. two personas. – All right.
– Yes. Link:
I left the farm for you. Post:
Yeah, I guess my options are… – Link: Limited.
– Post: …”Old MacDonald
Had a Farm” and in the style
of Migos. Rhett and Link:
Yeah. I think this is
a hit already. Yeah, it’s destiny. Which we met Quavo. – Did you?
– And we got a picture with him, and he never spoke, he just raised his arm, pointed it towards the camera,
we took a picture and then that was it. He’s a good guy. He’s not a man
of many words… – No, he wasn’t.
– but I love Quavo. – All right.
– I guess I’m ready to rock it. – Yes.
– Quavo, I hope
I do you justice. Offset, Takeoff,
hope I do you justice. Hello, my little baby boy. I’m sorry Link woke you up, I’ma put you right back to bed,
don’t you worry. ( music playing ) ♪ Ooh ♪ ♪ Ya ♪ ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ Ooh, and on this farm,
he had a cow ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ With a moo moo here,
and a moo moo there ♪ ♪ Here a moo, there a moo,
everywhere a moo moo moo ♪ ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O, ooh ♪ ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ And on this farm,
he had a pig ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ With a oink oink here
and a oink oink there ♪ ♪ There a oink– there–
and everywhere a oy-oink ♪ ♪ Old MacDonald had a farm ♪ ♪ E-I-E-I-E-I-O ♪ ♪ Ooh ♪ Shout out to murder on the beat. You can cut it now. You already know. Got him. ( Rhett laughs ) ( applause ) Oink oink! Post:
It’s tough. Also a tough flow to master. – Yes.
– That was pretty great. Well, you did just that. – Hey, thank you so much.
– Oh, man. There are no winners
and losers here because we’re
all winners. – We’re all a team.
– Yeah. We are kind of like the Migos. – We created some hits.
– Yeah. I often think of us
that way. – Slappers.
– The us version of the Migos. That’s nice, I like that. Ever since…
five minutes ago. – That’s right.
– Exactly. All right, click on through
as we find a way to stuff a Slim Jim
inside a churro because why not?Money can’t buy happiness,unless smelling good
makes you happy.
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