Key & Peele – Pawn Shop

Key & Peele – Pawn Shop


[rapid knocking on door] [buzzer] – HEY, MAN.
HOW YOU DOING? YOU GUYS GOT BOW AND ARROWS? – YEAH. – OH, YEAH.
OH, THAT’S IT. YEAH, THERE IT IS.
THERE. THAT’LL DO IT.
THAT’S GONNA DO IT. YUP.
WHERE ARE THE ARROWS AT? [clears throat] YEAH.
YOU GOT–YOU GUYS GOT M80s? – WE DON’T CARRY FIREWORKS. – DAMN!
YOU HAVE, UH– YOU HAVE SOMETHING ELSE
THAT’S EXPLOSIVE THAT I COULD TAPE
TO THE END OF AN ARROW? – WE HAVE SHOTGUN SHELLS, BUT…
– UH-HUH. OOH. – I FEEL I HAVE TO ASK, ARE YOU PLANNING
TO ATTACH THOSE TO ARROWS AND USE THEM AS A WEAPON? – WHAT?
NO. WHAT? ARE YOU CRAZY?
[laughs] YOU THINK
THAT WOULD WORK THOUGH? WHAT–WHAT–WHAT IF I SHOT
EXPLOSIVE ARROWS THROUGH A WINDOW
TO BREAK ‘EM OPEN? – SIR, I FEEL LIKE
I HAVE TO ASK YOU WHAT YOU’RE PLANNING
TO USE THESE FOR. – OH, NO, I’M NOT PLANNING
TO DO ANYTHING. I’M JUST–THIS IS
JUST CHRISTMAS SHOPPING. I’M GETTING A–
YOU GOT ZIP LINES? – NOPE. – BUT YOU GOT, LIKE,
HOOKS AND ANCHORS AND CABLES? – WE GOT
SOME OF THOSE THINGS, BUT I DO NOT RECOMMEND
MANUFACTURING YOUR OWN ZIP LINE. – OH, I’M NOT DOING THAT.
NO. LET’S SAY SOMEBODY
WAS MANUFACTURING THEIR OWN ZIP LINE.
– MM-HMM. – YOU THINK IF THEY
HAD BUSTED SOME WINDOWS OPEN ON A BUILDING SOMEHOW, THEN FIRED THE ZIP LINE
OFF A BOW AND ARROW, AND IT ATTACHED
TO THE WALL OF SAID BUILDING, THAT THEY COULD JUST RIDE
THE ZIP LINE INTO THE BUILDING? – I HAVE NO IDEA. SIR, WHATEVER YOU
ARE PLANNING ON DOING, PLEASE DON’T DO IT. – I’M NOT–I’M NOT–
I’M NOT DOING ANYTHING. I’M JUST DOING
SOME CHRISTMAS SHOPPING, TRYING TO GET IT
OUT OF THE WAY. YOU KNOW, BOW AND ARROWS
FOR MY NEPHEW. THE ZIP LINE’S FOR MY…
GRANDMOTHER. ET CETERA AND WHATNOT.
YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING THERE? IT’S NOTHING.
NO BIG DEAL. SPEAKING OF OTHER THINGS,
DO YOU GUYS HAVE JUST THE, UH, TOP HALF
OF A KNIGHT IN ARMOR? – FIRST OF ALL,
IT’S CALLED A SUIT OF ARMOR. – OH, YUP, THAT’S IT.
THAT’S RIGHT. THAT’S WHAT I MEANT TO SAY.
– WE HAVE ONE BUT IT’S SOLD… – OH!
– AS A COMPLETE SET. – YUP. YUP.
– YUP. – YEAH,
BUT THE PERSON IT’S FOR, THEY ONLY NEED THE–
THEY DON’T NEED THE– THEY JUST NEED THE TOP HALF. THEY DON’T NEED THE LEGS.
– MM-HMM. – WELL, WHAT IF SOMEBODY
WAS SHOOTING AT YOU AND– WHAT ARE THE CHANCES YOU THINK
THEY’D TRY TO SHOOT YOUR LEGS? – I FEEL
LIKE I HAVE TO TELL YOU THAT A SUIT OF ARMOR
WILL NOT DEFLECT BULLETS. – I’LL TAKE MY CHANCES–
WITH CHRISTMAS. WHICH BRINGS ME, UH,
TO MY NEXT QUESTION. DO YOU GUYS
HAVE ROLLER SKATES? – I THINK WE HAVE A PAIR AROUND.
– UH-HUH. LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION. HOW FAST DO YOU THINK YOU’D HAVE
TO BE GOING ON ROLLER SKATES TO GET PAST A COUPLE
OF ARMED GUARDS AND STILL BE GOING FAST ENOUGH
TO SMASH THROUGH A SAFE DOOR? – ONE OF THOSE BIG BANK SAFES?
– NO! I DON–I DON’T KNOW.
YEAH. YEAH? UH… HEY, YOU GUYS GOT ONE OF THOSE,
YOU KNOW, JUST ONE OF THOSE BIG BAGS WITH
A DOLLAR SIGN ON THE SIDE OF IT? – OKAY.
– [snorts] [coughs]
YEAH? – YOU’RE GONNA SHOOT ARROWS WITH
SHOTGUN SHELLS ATTACHED TO ‘EM TO A BANK WINDOW
TO BLOW OUT THE GLASS. THEN YOU’RE GONNA SHOOT
A ZIP LINE THROUGH THAT WINDOW AND YOU’RE GONNA SLIDE ON
INTO THE HALLWAY. YOU’RE GONNA BE
WEARING ROLLER SKATES SO YOU CAN JUST SKATE ON PAST
THE ARMED GUARDS, WHO WILL BE SHOOTING AT YOU,
AND YOU’RE GONNA HOPE THAT THEY BOTH
WON’T HIT YOUR LEGS, AND, IF THEY ARE AIMING
AT YOUR TORSO, THE SUIT OF MEDIEVAL ARMOR
WILL DEFLECT THE BULLETS. THEN YOU’RE GONNA HOPE
TO GATHER ENOUGH SPEED TO BURST THROUGH
THE BIG BANK VAULT AT THE END OF THE HALLWAY WHERE YOU’RE GONNA
COLLECT THE MONEY IN A CARTOON MONEY BAG. – WELL, NO. I’M JUST AN UNCLE WHO’S BUYING
SOME [bleep] FOR CHRISTMAS AND I, UH, THINK I’LL
TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE. MERRY CHRISTMAS. – IT’S APRIL.

100 thoughts on “Key & Peele – Pawn Shop

  1. Welcome to the Key & Peele YouTube channel! Subscribe for more exclusive Key & Peele content: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCdN4aXTrHAtfgbVG9HjBmxQ?sub_confirmation=1

  2. I’m downvoting this because the thumbnail was misleading I thought he was portraying a Jew running a pawnshop and there was going to be some haggling.

  3. The funny thing Is even if he got all the supplies and stuff he would would never get started since I'm not sure this guy could hit anything with a bow and depending on the bow could find trouble in even bringing it to full draw

  4. I think it'd have been funnier if the guy didn't explain the obvious in detailing out the bank heist, but instead pulled the guy forward and said something like "you gon' need a getaway driver. 40%. We got a deal?" Or I dunno, something. Spelling it out isn't as funny

  5. Key and peele have the chaotic energy of a pair of friends that were given a few grand and told to do whatever. i love it.

  6. – Merry Christmas!

    – it's April!

    The little things makes it even more funny,lol.

  7. What the hell kind of lives have Key and Peele led that allows them to channel so many different characters!?! The two of them have more range than the entire cast of In Living Color combined. Mind you, that's a cast that includes the Wayans brothers, Jim Carrey, and Jamie Foxx. It's unreal.

  8. All the suit of armor would do is heat up the bullet into a firy ball of molten copper and lead as it passes through it. Not ideal.

  9. S T O P. R A P E I N G. B A B I E S
    Ha// you would have to ….fix ..the arrows to ….hell this gonna take some work//_he kind of dose look like Ripple

  10. The top half of a knight in armorrrrrr 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

  11. lol apparently obama just tried to earn a decent living by opening a pawn shop with rare antiques only to have black dr robotnic come in asking for some kind of home made metal supersuit😂😂😂😂

  12. All the newer sketches have exponentially more views than the old ones.
    Here's what that tells me:

    Millenials watch d this growing up at their parents house, so they've seen all the older episodes.
    But now they have moved out, and only watch YouTube.
    Fuck paying triple digits for cable.

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